Unleashing Self-Love: Why It's Okay to Prioritize Yourself

Psychoanalyst at large, today I want to discuss a common struggle: feeling guilty for putting yourself first. This feeling often arises from a misunderstanding of personal responsibility and self-care. Let's dive into the nuances of prioritizing yourself and shed light on why it's essential to embrace self-love.

Challenging the Myth of Selfishness

There is a prevalent myth that suggests if you put yourself first, you are succeeding at the expense of others. This mindset can make you feel like a less than adequate individual, and it's a disconnection that many of us struggle with.
However, there's a crucial difference between a "selfish" mindset, which prioritizes one's own success regardless of the cost to others, and the personal responsibility for taking care of your own thoughts, feelings, and motives.

Unearthing the Validity of Putting Yourself First

Think about your daily routines and habits. Why do you sleep in a comfortable bed? Why do you drive to work in a car that plays all your favorite music? These actions are not selfish; they serve a vital role in your well-being.

When you sleep in a comfortable bed at night, you are asserting your right to rest and rejuvenation. When you choose to drive to work in a car you enjoy, you are claiming the right to a pleasant ride and stimulating experience.

Feeling guilty about these actions is misplaced. Instead, recognize that taking care of yourself is a fundamental human right.

Understanding the Perception of Selfishness

To address the issue of feeling like you are doing something wrong when prioritizing your own needs, consider the following:

Do you feel selfish if you love yourself and take good care of yourself? The answer, in most cases, is a resounding no.

Let's delve deeper into the reasons why we feel guilty about prioritizing our own needs:

Our Nature and Upbringing

Feeling guilty often stems from a combination of our inherent nature and the values instilled by our upbringing. Especially in Indian families, there's a strong emphasis on putting others' happiness before one's own, which stems from deeply rooted cultural values. While these teachings are noble, it is a fact that no one is inherently noble; each person has their own set of priorities and needs.

The Dilemma of Self-Prioritization

Many of us grapple with the question of whether prioritizing ourselves is ethical. Let's not overlook the reality that prioritizing oneself does not necessarily mean hurting others. If you are considering your own needs and comforts without detracting from others, then there is no injustice. In fact, taking care of yourself ensures that you can be a better person to those around you.

Self-Reflection and Justification

To justify your actions, ask yourself:

Am I doing an injustice to others by prioritizing myself? Am I misjudging the importance of my own needs? Do others deserve to be put before my own happiness?

Once you've analyzed these questions, if your mind says "yes," then embrace this realization. Justify your actions by confirming your right to prioritize yourself as long as your well-being does not negatively affect others.

Embrace Self-Love and Nourish Your Inner Queen

Remember, no one will be with you by your side till the very end if you don't prioritize your own needs now. So, my dear, I'll reiterate: prioritize yourself. Embrace the journey of self-love and treat yourself like a queen. Your well-being is paramount, and you deserve to be nurtured and cherished. Treat yourself to the things that make you happy and fulfilled. This is not selfishness; it is self-care, and it's essential for a balanced life.

Feel guilty no more. Prioritize yourself when it's necessary, and in doing so, you'll not only enhance your own life but also contribute positively to those around you. Live your life to the fullest with confidence and self-love.