A Self-Reflection on Wine Snobbery: Laughing at Old Jokes, Learning New Wines

While engaging positively with wine enthusiasts is generally best, there are light-hearted ways to provoke a reaction from wine snobs. However, it is crucial to maintain a light tone to avoid genuine offense. Here are some playful suggestions to consider:

Mispronounce Wine Names: Deliberately mispronounce well-known wine names or regions. For example, “Chardonnay” as “Char-don-ay.” Mix Up Varietals: Confuse different varietals such as calling a Cabernet Sauvignon a Merlot or claiming all red wines as the same. Serve Wine in Inappropriate Glassware: Use plastic cups or tumblers instead of proper wine glasses, acting as if it’s the norm. Ask for Advice on Pairing with Fast Food: Inquire about the best wine to pair with fast food items like pizza or burgers, especially if they are particularly proud of their sophisticated palate. Claim to Prefer Boxed Wine: Express a preference for boxed wines or budget brands, citing their convenience and value. Use Wine Buzzwords Incorrectly: Use terms like “oaky,” “tannins,” or “terroir” inappropriately or incorrectly to confuse or frustrate them. Bring Up Wine Ratings: Mention that you only choose wines based on their ratings in a popular but less respected publication. Ask About Natural Wines: Bring up the topic of natural wines and feign ignorance about the differences, claiming all wine is “natural.” Discuss Wine in Terms of Popular Culture: Relate wine to pop culture references such as discussing how wine is portrayed in movies or TV shows. Make Over-the-Top Claims: Claim that you can taste the “essence of the vineyard” or “notes of summer” in the cheapest wines.

The goal here is to have fun without being overly rude or confrontational. Maintaining a light tone can help avoid genuine offense. However, this approach is not recommended if the aim is to genuinely irritate or anger; instead, it is better to enjoy your wine and not worry so much about what others think.

My Personal Journey with Wine

Back in the mid-1990s, at a four-star hotel, I served as a wine steward during a private event. A woman approached me and asked for a Zinfandel. Noting her clothing and hairstyle, I suspected she was asking for something else. Upon being asked to confirm, she said, "It’s kind of pink." With a friendly tone, I explained that Zinfandel is a robust red wine and that she might be thinking of White Zinfandel. To satisfy her, I mixed Riesling and Pinot Noir to create a pink Riesling, which she enjoyed and ordered multiple glasses over the next couple of hours. Although this story initially came across as a joke, at the time, I was a cocky young wine steward who thought I knew a lot about wine. Looking back, I realize that I was an idiot. Over the past 25 years, I have gained much humility and personal maturity, recognizing the complexity and subjectivity of the wine world.

Today, wine has humble roots. It is an integral part of the human experience, and we should maintain a grounded approach. The rules of wine tasting are subjective, and beginners should take a playful, relaxed approach, just as children might. If you tell a wine snob joke, make sure to include an element of self-deprecation to showcase your growth and humility.

In conclusion, the modern world of wine is more accessible and welcoming than ever. Embrace this joy and share it with others. Don’t worry so much about what others think, and continue to learn and enjoy your wines!

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