When Love Confronts Reality: The Most Cherished Relationships

Love is a multi-faceted emotion that can be complex and often confronts challenging realities. This article explores the experiences of individuals who have placed their love on different sources—pets, parents, or themselves—and the reasons behind their choices.

Pets vs. Parents: Nurturing Bonds

For many, pets serve as emotional anchors, providing constant support without judgment. A forceful statement from a personal experience highlights this: "My dog was 1000 percent more important than my mother. I was abused verbally and physically by her the majority of my life. Even if that didn't happen, I would have a closer bond with my dogs. They are always there for you."

Another individual sheds light on their current situation: "My parents are dead, while I still love them and my memories of them, our cats are living and give their love every day. So, currently, I love my cats more." However, when asked about overall love, the sentiment shifts: "If it was a question of whether I loved my parents or my cats more, it would be the parents. They did their best for me in difficult circumstances while I was growing up. It's complicated."

The experience of a long-term abuse suffered by the pet owner provides a poignant insight: "My parents were abusive alcoholic narcissists who beat and raped me, causing me to become crippled. My cat, on the other hand, offers comfort without ever trying to harm me. My parents both said I would see how much they loved me when they were gone. Now that they are dead, it's a relief to know they can never hurt me again. I only wish they had been incarcerated so I could watch from the other room. I got clean and sober about a month before she died, and I didn’t drink over it. Yes, it was confusing, but so much of a relief. Now, I have 43 years clean and sober, partially due to their deaths and stopping talking to my father decades ago."

Many do not see the validity of these personal experiences: "They will say, but he must have had a reason. Yes, of course, he was a pervert. And the fact that he could do these things to his own children makes it even worse."

Loving Themselves: A Path to Fulfillment

Understanding and nurturing oneself is a profound source of love: "I love myself the most because when I love myself, 100 percent, I can overflow into my whole world. Self-love is the core of all love and connection."

The deep-seated love for parents is often wired and inseparable: "My parents. The love for them is wired and deeply seated. Despite the hardships, the bond is unbreakable in many ways."

Conclusion

Love, whether it's for pets, parents, or oneself, can be imagined and experienced in diverse and sometimes contrasting forms. It is often a reflection of the unique experiences and traumas that shape each individual's life. This exploration highlights the importance of acknowledging and validating the different forms of love in our lives, even when they present challenging realities.