When I Realized Being an Adult Is Not Just a Social Construct

I am 58 years old in a matter of weeks. Though my life is pretty much as I would wish it to be and I am highly respected in my field, I do not often feel like an adult. However, I have learned to pretend to be one when necessary. My prefrontal cortex, fully developed for over thirty years, allows me to understand risk and the consequences of actions. But apart from this, I am still the 13-year-old boy who finds farting hilarious and is entertained by many other things deemed juvenile or childish by others.

According to my wife, I am still not an "adult". I might be right about that too. Adulthood, I believe, is a social construct—a role we play when required. Some people can embody this role convincingly, like method actors, while others struggle to do so.

My Journey into Adulthood

When I was fifteen, I heard my schoolmates gossip about Betty getting fired from the local general store. I didn't join in, but my mind started racing. That afternoon, I went directly to Mr. D at the store and said, "I want a job." He laughed and said, "Well, I have to ask your daddy." In that moment, I knew Mr. D saw me as the kid he had known for ten years. If I didn't like his attitude, I had to change it. With the voice and manner I used to intimidate my little brothers, I said, "My daddy doesn't need a job. I do." His grin vanished, and he nodded. I worked there until I graduated high school.

The Surprising Realizations of Adulthood

Sex is not the most amazing thing in the world. I used to think about nothing but sex, but after it happened, my life didn't change much. It was still the same. Life has a lot more to offer than just sexual experiences and romantic relationships. You can't force someone to love you back. There was a time when I was madly in love with a girl, and our relationship was like the movie Kabir Singh. But when Preeti never left Kabir, this girl broke me to the core.

Studies are important, especially for credentials, but they are not the only thing that matters in life. Some friends might become your enemies at a later point in time. Running away from problems doesn't solve them. These realizations came gradually, and I now share them here to help others.

My Current State of Mind

I am frustrated with my life. I have stopped lying to myself and others. I believe that being an adult is not just about understanding risks and consequences but also about embracing the complexities of life. It is about growing as a person, learning from experiences, and accepting that not everything can be easily fixed.

Adulthood, in my view, is a constant process of self-improvement and adaptation. We play different roles in life, and sometimes we have to pretend to be someone we are not, but the goal is to eventually be true to ourselves. This journey is ongoing, and I hope my story can inspire others to embrace the growth that comes with becoming an adult.