What I Don't Want My Children to Inherit: Lessons from My Life as a Parent
As a parent, I reflect on the many aspects of my life that I wish my children would not inherit. This includes not only negative traits but also difficult life experiences.
Not Wanting My Children to Inherit Negative Traits
One of the things that stands out to me is not wanting my children to inherit my sometimes mercurial temper. My oldest daughter, at age 36, has managed to keep that temper at bay, as have my other two daughters. I hope they will never develop it because dealing with an emotionally volatile parent can be extremely taxing for a child.
Similarly, I wish they would not inherit my competitive nature. While being competitive can sometimes motivate people to push themselves, it can also lead to stress and strife. I hope my daughters will face life with a positive outlook and the ability to focus on personal growth rather than constant competition.
Avoiding Mental Health Issues
One of the most significant inheritances I wish my children could avoid is the mental health issues that seem to plague my family. If I had understood the genetic implications of my bipolar depression and anxiety disorders, I might never have chosen to have children. Even now, watching my loved ones suffer from these conditions and knowing that it is partially my genetic burden is extremely difficult.
It is too late for my adult daughters, who are all in their 30s, but I still wish they had not inherited the mental health struggles that have affected my family. I cannot stand the stigma associated with mental illness, and I hope my children will not have to fight their own battles with these conditions.
Being Mindful of Sensitive Nature
Another aspect of my life that I am concerned might be inherited is my sensitive nature. I often feel for others, which can make me gullible and naive. While this quality has its positives, such as empathy and a willingness to help, it can also be a burden. I worry about them lying awake all night worrying about other people and their problems.
Fortunately, with the help of medication and therapy, I have been able to recognize and assist my children with early signs and symptoms of these conditions. I try to be a positive role model, warning them to be aware of their sensitive nature and to find healthy ways to cope.
Traveling the Golden Years
Despite my concerns, I am still grateful for the self-sufficiency and independence of my adult daughters. They have been able to live their lives without relying on us for financial support. As we enter our golden years, my wife and I plan to travel and live a fulfilling life, something we couldn't have done when the girls were younger. I hope they won't need an inheritance because I doubt there will be much to leave them.
My journey as a parent has taught me many valuable lessons, and I hope to pass on the positive aspects to my children while avoiding the negative ones. I wish my children the best and hope they will lead happy, healthy, and successful lives.