Understanding the Narcissist Who Owns a Bar and How to Deal with It

When a narcissist who owns a bar refers to themselves as the 'Big Cheese,' it's more than a simple joke. It could mean that the individual is all too aware of their own greatness, or simply that they lack self-awareness and don't realize how off-putting this phrase can be. This article will explore the significance behind bar owners using such titles and how to handle situations involving narcissistic behavior in a professional and respectful manner.

The Meaning Behind the Term "Big Cheese"

Using the term 'Big Cheese' to describe oneself typically comes from a more affluent era when luxury and exclusivity were associated with expensive cheese. However, in modern times, it often carries a connotation of someone who is overbearing, pretentious, or self-important. In the context of a bar owner, such a title can indicate that the individual is trying to assert their dominance or importance, which in turn triggers mixed reactions ranging from admiration to ridicule.

Why is It Considered Mockery?

The phrase 'Big Cheese' can indeed be seen as half-mocking. It typically refers to those who are perceived as being conceited and entitled. Unless the bar owner genuinely engages in self-deprecating humor, this kind of title can come across as childish and insincere. The bar owner may not fully understand why his reference to himself as 'the Big Cheese' is perceived as mocking, given his belief in his own greatness.

Dealing with a Narcissistic Bar Owner

Whichever side of the deception spectrum the bar owner is on—whether they truly believe they are the 'Big Cheese' or use the phrase as a mask for their true feelings—it’s important to communicate effectively and respectfully. Here are some strategies:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

If a bar owner is repeatedly using such titles, it might be time to establish clear boundaries. You can calmly and professionally express your concerns about the use of overly grandiose titles. Emphasize the importance of maintaining a respectful and professional environment for all customers and employees.

2. Address the Behavior Directly

If possible, speak directly with the bar owner about their behavior. Use “I” statements to express how their words make you and others feel. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when you refer to yourself as 'the Big Cheese' because it doesn’t align with the respectful atmosphere we’ve worked to create.”

3. Seek Support from Colleagues

Often, working with colleagues can provide additional support. They may also be able to support the effort to address the bar owner’s behavior. A united approach can make the message more impactful and show that the concern is shared and not just your personal opinion.

4. Use Humor Wisely

While humor can be an effective tool, it’s important to use it carefully. If you do choose to joke about the bar owner’s behavior, make sure it’s done in a light-hearted and inclusive manner. Excessive mockery or sarcasm can also be interpreted as off-putting.

Additional Thoughts on the Term and Personal Titles

Interestingly, the suggestion has been made to append a ‘y’ to the end of 'cheese' creating 'cheesey.' This more accurately describes the behavior in question. Some individuals, however, feel that the term 'Big Cheese' is directly associated with power and control, despite the poor connotation. If you are the bar owner, it’s advisable to consider whether such a title truly reflects your personality or if it might be better to adopt a more humble and genuine nickname, such as 'Goddess' or 'Your Goddess.' These titles might help in establishing a more positive and respectful identity for yourself and your establishment.

Conclusion

The use of titles like 'the Big Cheese' by a bar owner can be a sensitive issue, dependent on the individual’s intent and the context in which it’s used. Whether you believe they use it with self-awareness or not, the ability to address such behavior respectfully and constructively remains crucial. By setting boundaries, addressing the issue directly, seeking support, and using humor wisely, you can maintain a professional and respectful environment in any setting.