The Polite and Proper Way to Request New Cutlery at a Restaurant

I do remember the last time I had an empty plate other than the 'bread' or 'appetizer' plates. Properly, one would expect to receive clean cutlery and a clean plate. If the cutlery is dirty, or a knife or fork is misplaced, it is perfectly acceptable to ask the server for a replacement in a polite manner.

Behavior and Etiquette in Different Situations

Etiquette and manners describe behaviors in different situations. Etiquette refers to the rules designed to ensure that those who are unfamiliar with them can still behave appropriately, while manners are about being inclusive and welcoming. The scenario of requesting a new plate of cutlery falls more into the broader category of good manners rather than etiquette.

Etiquette is about not offending or excluding others, whereas manners are about ensuring everyone feels welcome and included. When you request a new plate or cutlery, you are aligning with the general requirement of manners to be polite. The underlying principle is the same: treat the servers and other diners with respect and courtesy.

Reasons for Requesting a New Plate or Cutlery

There can be several reasons for asking for a new plate or cutlery:

Defect in the Plate: If the plate you received has a defect, it is entirely reasonable to ask for a new one without being rude. Sharing a Dish: If you wish to share a dish with someone at your table, it is polite to ask for an additional plate. Dirty Cutlery: If your cutlery is dirty or missing, you can politely request a replacement. Portion Size and Prestige: While the bill might increase with the price of the restaurant, the portion sizes tend to decrease. Therefore, sharing a bite of a small portion may not be feasible. Impolite Staff: A rude waiter might be seen as either entertainment in some places (like New York City) or a sign of bad management and poor manners.

Requesting New Cutlery Politely

When you need new cutlery, you can politely ask the server:

Could you bring me a new set of silverware, please?

Alternatively, you can combine it with a request for water:

Next time your server comes by, could you bring me a glass of water, and if you could bring me a new set of silverware, please?

This way, you are treating the server with respect and providing a clear request that is easy to understand.