The Art of Ending Conversations Gracefully (or Awkwardly)

Whether you're in a social setting, at work, or just chatting with a friend, sometimes ending a conversation is necessary. While there are many polite ways to do this, we often resort to more awkward methods that can leave everyone a bit uncomfortable. Here, we explore the quickest but most awkward ways to say goodbye and exit an unwanted chat.

The Quickest But Most Awkward Methods

Here are some of the quickest but most awkward ways to terminate a conversation:

Just say “OK Bye” and walk away. This is quick but may leave the other person confused and unsure why you’re leaving so abruptly. Glance at your watch or phone for a moment, then say you have to eat as you leave. If you're not genuinely hungry, this can come off as very awkward and untruthful.

There are other ways to awkwardly end a conversation, such as:

I could do this all night! I have to go…. The cats in the disposal. Someone is stealing my car. I'm on my way to my veterinarian's funeral. A huge spider is looking at me hungrily.

Technically, if you initiated the conversation, you are responsible for ending it politely. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to leave, you can say something like:

“I’m sorry, my schedule is full today. We should talk again soon….”

One-Word Responses

If a conversation drags on despite your attempts to end it, consider using a one-word response. This can come across as abrupt but can also be the quickest way to convey that the conversation isn’t working for you anymore. Here are some options:

No. Not now. Later. Done.

Remember, while these methods can be effective, it's also important to be mindful of the feelings of the other person and to try to maintain some level of decorum, even if it means ending the conversation abruptly.

Introducing Excuses and Evasions

Another awkward but effective tactic is to introduce a seemingly unrelated excuse that is just enough to shift the focus and end the conversation. For example:

“That reminds me of something quite funny, but hold on, I'll be right back…” “Will you please excuse me… I just farted but it kinda feels a bit wet. I may have pooped my pants.”

The Lost and Sad Look

If you really need to end a conversation quickly, you can try the “lost and sad” look. This involves suddenly appearing to be lost or sad and hoping the other person will ask what's wrong. Then, you can use the opportunity to get them to say something positive or negative, depending on which you need:

“That reminds me, I hate fat people. Do you think I look fat?” If they say “no,” you can say, “You liar! You don't want me to get thinner. I will never talk to you ever again.” If they say “yes,” you can say, “I hate you. Never talk to me ever again.”

Hmm, Ok. Repeat It Three Times

Lastly, you can use a simple and memorable phrase to kill the conversation. The phrase “Hmm, Ok. Hmm, Ok. Hmm, Ok.” repeated three times can be an effective way to make the other person realize you’re not interested in continuing the conversation:

Hmm, Ok. Hmm, Ok. Hmm, Ok.

Conclusion

Ending conversations can be tricky, and sometimes we resort to awkward and humorous methods to get out of them. While these solutions may work, it’s important to remember the impact they can have on the other person. Always try to be considerate and use polite and effective methods to bring the conversation to a natural and respectful close.