Why Do People Use 'I’ll Have' Instead of 'I Want' When Ordering?

The phrase 'I’ll have' is a commonly used and polite way of ordering in a variety of contexts. This seemingly simple change in wording can significantly influence the perceived politeness and respect shown during a transaction. In contrast, the phrase 'I want' often comes across as demanding and rude, especially in formal or service-based settings. Let's explore why the more polite expression 'I’ll have' is preferred and how it affects the interaction with service providers.

Politeness vs. Demand

Parenthetically, the use of 'I want' can sound quite demanding. Phrases like 'Give me' or even 'Gimme' are similarly perceived as less polite. Conversely, 'I’ll have' is a more polite choice, often accompanied by 'please' for added courtesy. In the UK, for instance, it would be rather unusual to hear a polite customer ask 'I want' something in a restaurant, shop, or any other place of service, regardless of the smile or friendly mannerisms.

There are different contexts where 'I want' is used. For example, when expressing desires, hopes, or ambitions:

I want peace not war. I want a happy life. I want an end to this situation. I want her in my life. I want to finish by five. I want to visit New York in September. I want to have a meal in that restaurant one day. I want to live forever.

However, the meaning shifts when used to request services. Here, 'I want' can undermine politeness and be perceived as a demand:

I want to book a table for six please. I want to open an account please.

Even in a shop, a child who says 'I want one of those' might receive a frown and correction from a parent. This example highlights how the word 'want' here is indeed a demand, not a polite request.

Use of 'I’ll Have' in Polite Politeness

'I’ll have' is a polite alternative that conveys the same essential information without the perceived demand. It is less blunt and more in line with the cultural norms of politeness in the UK. As a rule of thumb, it is customary to add 'please' when using 'I’ll have', 'I’d like', or 'Could I have… please'. For instance:

I’ll have a coffee, please. I’d like four first-class stamps, please. Could I have a table for six, please?

Even mildly informal expressions like 'Let me have' or 'Give me' when followed by 'please' are acceptable and polite:

Could you give me that please? Let me have a look at that please.

It is noteworthy that cultural norms do vary. The example of Ronnie Barker's gruff request in a shop (as seen in the "Fork handles" sketch) is a stark contrast to the polite norms established in the UK. However, such directness is generally not preferred and is typically used only in very informal or specific situations, such as with close friends or family members.

The Context of Politeness

Pleas and thank-yous are fundamental to maintaining a polite society, as every grateful customer knows. They are essential in enhancing the quality of service and interactions within service industries. For instance, a polite customer in a restaurant will often say 'Could I have a table by the window, please?' rather than 'I want a table by the window.' This simple word swap can make a significant difference in the outcome of the customer's experience.

The importance of politeness in service industries is not just a fancy social nicety; it is vital for the business. Politeness fosters good will, builds trust, and leads to repeat customers. In an era where customer service is often undervalued, the seemingly small act of showing respect and gratitude can make a huge impact.