Politeness and Clarity in Food Ordering: A Cultural Insight
When ordering food, the choice of phrases can significantly impact the tone of your interaction.
The Proper Choice
Traditionally, and more politely, one should begin with the phrase: "Please may I have...". In the United States, "Can I get..." is often accepted, but it can come across as less courteous in British contexts. The difference, while seemingly minor, carries cultural and linguistic significance.
Understanding the Differences
The difference between "I would like" and "Can I have" is worth more than a mere chapter; it's a reflection of how you were brought up and your understanding of the English language. Often, it also indicates your maturity level—provided you are not acting like a child in public.
For New Zealanders, the absence of the word "please" in these phrases is crucial. Kiwis place a premium on politeness, and saying "please" and "thank you" is second nature.
Why "Can I Have" Is Considered Barbaric
Experts might argue that "Can I have …" is more barbaric than "Can I get …". However, using "I would like" is considered more polite when making a request, especially in a service-oriented setting such as a café or restaurant. When the item is on the menu, there's no need to ask, "Can I have a coffee?" because of course, you can. Just say, "I'd like a black coffee please."
Politeness and Professionalism
Politeness is not just about being courteous; it also contributes to clarity of intent and adherence to social norms. In many cultures, using polite language is a social norm, particularly in service-oriented environments. In a restaurant, using more formal language can contribute to a professional atmosphere.
In summary, while both phrases can be understood, "I would like" communicates a higher level of formality and respect for the service provider. It aligns more closely with cultural and linguistic expectations, especially in a professional setting.
Personal Experiences and Cultural Observations
Reflecting on my own experiences, when asked, "What will you have?" or "What would you like?", I tend to reply with either "I'll have" or "I'd like." If asked, "What do you want," it can be considered a personal question requiring a more detailed response, and I typically respond with "I would like" or "I will have." When asked, "What can I get you?", I stick with my usual response because answering directly with "You can get me…" sounds condescending.
Interestingly, my adult children, who were taught from a young age to use polite language such as "Can I get…" or "Can I have…", still often use these phrases. While I don't necessarily see these phrases as improper, my father instilled in me the non-negotiable rule of never answering a question with another question, especially when dealing with waitstaff in a service-oriented setting.
Cultural Context
Understanding the nuances of politeness and clarity in food ordering is crucial. These differences reflect broader cultural and linguistic norms, and recognizing them can enhance your interactions in various settings.
By being mindful of phrases like "pleasing may I have," "I would like," and avoiding potentially impolite phrases like "Can I get," one can ensure a more respectful and efficient dining experience. Remember, small linguistic choices can make big differences in how you are perceived, both professionally and personally.