Funny Tales from Overseas Deployment and Offbeat Experiences

Every soldier, security contractor, or adventurer has their share of memorable and amusing stories. My time overseas as a security contractor involved a variety of tasks, including apprehending suspects and conducting operations in less conventional settings. Here are a couple of humorous anecdotes that you won't soon forget.

A Spider Web, a Tough Guy, and a Screaming ‘Spider

One memorable rotation took me to the 'underside' of the border, working with various government agencies. During one of our operations, we were tasked with apprehending a suspect. Upon seeing this individual, a spontaneous “god damn” escape my lips, one with the sour face of shock, surprise, and disgust. It was a particularly memorable expression.

Once the suspect was secured and we were about to conduct a site exploitation, I decided to take a moment to glance outside the building we were operating from. Walking past one of the suspects seated on the curb outside, I found myself staring at a bald man with an extraordinary tattoo—a massive spider web covering his entire scalp. The web began just below his nose and grew out to cover nearly his entire face, towards his ears and chin. His name was Aranya, or "Spider."

The man looked like he had "tough guy" written all over him. Despite our questions and dialogue, he remained silent and often engaged in verbal sparring. However, as the site exploitation continued, Aranya let out a piercing scream. It was a shrill and loud cry that would make one compare it to Mariah Carey's high pitch in her songs. It nearly sounded like a scene from a horror movie.

Curious, we rushed back to see what had caused the commotion. Aranya was screaming because a spider was crawling around a few inches from him. He pleaded to be moved or at least for the spider to be killed. Seeing a tough guy like Aranya lose his cool over an actual spider was a sight that I will always remember. It was a hilarious and unexpected turn of events.

A Moped Jump Gone Wrong in Hong Kong

Another event that stands out is a rather clumsy attempt to return to the ship in Hong Kong in 1972. Buddy and I rented mopeds to navigate our way around the city. In a moment of daring, Buddy wanted to make a daring jump from the pier back to the ship. The expectation was that we would travel the short distance to the ship without incident.

But of course, beer was a contributing factor in his decision to take this risky jump. To our dismay, the jump resulted in a spill. We were left laughing at the scene, and it is a memory that we still cracks us up every time we recall it.

These stories, if anything, remind us that even the most experienced and serious professionals can find humor in the most unexpected situations. Whether it's the tough guy who's terrified of a spider or the daring yet risky moped jump, these experiences add a layer of color and humanity to the often-dry world of deployments and adventures.