Explaining Transition to Children: Simple and Effective Strategies

It's natural for adults to feel overwhelmed or unsure when explaining complex changes, such as gender transition, to children. However, children often have a simpler, more accepting perspective. In this article, we explore the easiest ways to explain transition to kids and provide practical advice for parents and guardians.

Why Kids Are Easier to Explain Transition To

Children are naturally curious and accepting of change. They believe in literal explanations and take things at face value, unlike adults who tend to overthink and analyze the situation from multiple angles. As a parent or guardian, you can use this natural inclination to your advantage when explaining transition to children.

Young Children Are Concrete Thinkers

At this age, children are not yet fully developed in abstract thinking or understanding complex emotions. Instead, they rely on concrete information and modeling. This means that providing straightforward and simple explanations is far more effective than trying to explain every nuance of the situation. Here’s how you can approach the conversation:

Keep the Conversation Simple:
Explain that even though their parent or family member still looks and acts the same, they internally feel differently now and are transitioning to live as their true selves. For example, you might say, "Even though I look like a boy or girl on the outside, I feel like a girl or boy on the inside. I want to make my outside match how I feel on the inside, so I’m taking some special medicine to help with that." Be sure to use terms that are easy for them to understand, such as 'medicine' instead of specific medical terminology.

Encouraging Open and Repeated Conversations

Children often have more questions as they grow older and their understanding expands. Therefore, it’s helpful to plan for these conversations to be repeated over time. This allows them to process the information gradually and ask questions as they come to mind.

Being Patient and Consistent

Children may need time to fully understand the concept of transition. Instead of expecting them to grasp everything in one discussion, it’s better to have several conversations over a period of time. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Use Simple Language: Avoid using complex or technical terms. Instead, use simple, clear language that they can relate to. For example, you could use terms like 'inner self' and 'outer appearance' to explain the difference. Be Patient: Understand that children may need time to process this information. Allow them to ask questions and provide answers that are easy for them to comprehend. Consistency: Make sure to repeat these conversations over time. This helps reinforce the idea and allow children to integrate the information gradually.

The Role of Parents and Guardians

Parents and guardians play a crucial role in helping children understand and support transitions. By being patient and consistent in your explanations, you can help your children develop a more accepting and inclusive mindset.

Supporting with Resources

Children's literature can be an excellent resource for discussing sensitive topics like gender transition. Picture books can be particularly helpful because they provide visual representations and are easy for children to revisit and discuss. Here are some recommendations:

Circle of Life: An Alphabet Book by Bronwyn Discount: This book uses the alphabet to explore various aspects of life, including family and gender. It's a gentle and straightforward way to introduce gender diversity to young children. And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell: This heartwarming story about two male penguins who raise a chick can be used to explain family structures and love.

Encouraging Open Communication

It's essential to create an open and supportive environment where children feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their thoughts. Encourage your children to share their thoughts and feelings, and be ready to discuss any concerns they may have.

Final Thoughts: Remember that explaining transition to children is a process. It's about being patient, using simple language, and being consistent in your explanations. By doing so, you can help your children develop a more accepting and inclusive mindset, even as they grow and change.