Dumb Client Stories That Will Make You Want to Slam Your Head Against the Desk
As an attorney, it's not just a curse but a privilege to listen to some of the most dull-witted decisions clients have made. These stories not only provide comedic relief but also serve as cautionary tales. Here are some of the slap the forehead moments that will make you smack your head in exasperation!
A Candid Moment in Court
While this story is not about my own client, it's a tale that is very well-known in my hometown. It was a years ago during a Preliminary Hearing on a charge of grow-show Marijuana Cultivation. The crown presented wiretap evidence, a microphone had been placed in one of the co-accused's houses.
The grow operation was so close to the local RCMP station it felt like it was right in their backyard. During the voir dire, one of the co-accused made a rude and stupid comment about the local police force. Within minutes, the police burst into the house, and what they found led to a laughable admission of guilt.
A Chuckle in the Courthouse
The presiding judge, a very experienced man, couldn't help but let out a belly laugh. Hearing the co-accused's remark, he diverted to the judge's corridor where he was heard cracking up. When he returned to the courtroom, the hearing continued as usual.
Needless to say, the evidence was admitted, and the accused were ordered to stand trial.
A Drunken Joke During Sentencing
Another case involved a guilty plea where I was my client. The story was told openly in court, which meant no risk of privilege. A member of the RCMP was working at his desk when he noticed someone outside the police station, smoking a crack pipe, sitting on the window ledge. He couldn't resist but to poke his head out, and the scene was so embarrassing that he had to arrest my client. At the sentencing, the judge remarked, "Not one of your brighter moments I’m guessing."
Other Dumb Client Stories
Even though I was not an attorney, my decade in large law firms and working experience as a para-legal gives me some incredible dumb client stories. I can share some of these stories without risking client confidentiality, but at the same time, they might expose some legal mistakes.
Confidential issues: A client once wanted to deposit a sum of money into his client account using a paper bag. He was informed about money laundering regulations. That was indeed an idiotic decision. We reported the unusual transaction even though it was dodgy.
Stolen goods: Another client thought our safe storage extended to stolen goods, which is clearly not the case. We managed to seize quite a few valuable pieces of art in lieu of payment.
Refusal to Pay for Valuable Property
There were also numerous clients who wanted us to enter a business relationship with them, which would have made us jointly liable. We were well aware that they were testing the limits of legality.
A frustrated supplier once failed to deliver the contracted goods. When faced with a legal threat, he exclaimed, "Law firms never sue suppliers. They know it will be too costly and not worth it in the end."
While client behavior can often be unexpected, these stories offer valuable lessons for both clients and attorneys to avoid similar mistakes in the future. Remember, a bit of caution and due diligence can save a lot of trouble and stress.