Detecting Pathological Liars and Con Artists: Red Flags to Look Out For
Pathological liars and con artists can pose serious challenges in both personal and professional settings. Unlike occasional fibbers who might mislead due to temporary discomfort or a need to avoid conflict, pathological liars are driven by an ingrained compulsion to distort reality. While this behavior can be rooted in complex psychological issues, recognizing the red flags can help in preventing falls into their traps.Understanding the Behavior
Pathological lying—also known as compulsive or chronic lying—can be a symptom of underlying psychological disorders, such as personality disorders, anxiety, or even brain abnormalities. These individuals lie not just to cover up facts but may even believe their lies to be true, fooling themselves and others. This habitual lying can stem from a traumatic past or an attempt to cope with overwhelming reality, making fiction seem like a more manageable reality to them.Personal experiences with pathological liars often reveal certain behaviors that mark them out. One such individual, for instance, had been deeply traumatized by an abusive childhood, leading them to develop lying as a coping mechanism. The trauma they faced, and the subsequent lies, created a twisted reality that they then shared with others, altering the truth to suit their narratives.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
Several behaviors can indicate that someone might be a pathological liar or a con artist. Recognizing these signs can be crucial in protecting oneself from manipulation and deceit.False Generosity
One of the most common and insidious red flags is the display of false generosity. Initially, a pathological liar might offer to help with minor tasks or favors, such as moving a meal or doing some errand for you. This offer might seem genuine at first, but the reality can be vastly different. The individual might offer a single favor and then demand ongoing assistance, or they might take what you offer and then twist the reality, making themselves out to be the benefactor and you the recipient. For example, they might claim that you spent all their groceries in one sitting, while you had only shared a meal with them, leaving them in a difficult position.Exploiting Kindness
People who are con artists are often incredibly adept at recognizing empathy, particularly in those who naturally want to help others. At first, they might engage you with warmth and kindness, but quickly turn this into an opportunity to exploit your good nature. This could involve convincing you to give them something of value, trusting you with information, or using your kindness to gain an unfair advantage. For instance, they might ask for a meal or a place to stay, and then later twist the story to make it appear as though they provided substantial help or support, while you are portrayed as the less capable or less generous.Another tactic is the tainting of genuine interactions. They may take a simple act of kindness and twist the narrative, making it look as though they are the real helper and you are the accused. This manipulation can lead to misunderstandings and ill will, as those who hear the manipulated version will not see the situation in the same light as those who witnessed the actual event.
Constantly Changing Stories
Con artists are known for their ability to create intricate and convincing narratives. Their stories are fluid and can change dramatically over time, making it difficult to follow the truth. They might weave in inconsistencies and lies that are so convincing that even those who know them well can be fooled. Over time, as their lies are exposed, their personas tend to become more exaggerated, and their stories become increasingly elaborate and unfounded.Signs of constant story changes and inconsistencies can be a critical red flag. If someone frequently alters their stories or refuses to acknowledge past lies, it is a significant indicator that they are engaging in strategic deception. This constant shifting of narratives can make it hard to trust and can leave others feeling manipulated and betrayed.