Childhood Memories: A Common Phenomenon or a Sign of Trauma?

As I sit down to reflect on my 73-year-old memories, I can't help but wonder how much of my pre-school years are etched into my mind. From vivid nightmares involving monsters under the bed, to insignificant points of detail, childhood memories hold a unique place in our lives. Yet, it often raises questions: is it just me, or is it normal to remember our childhood more as glimpses rather than a continuous flow of recollections?

Individual Variations in Childhood Memories

One of the most interesting aspects of childhood memory recall is the variation from one person to another. For instance, I vividly remember a certain nightmare from my pre-school days. Waking up to no sound other than my monster under the bed was a terrifying experience. I could not even scream for my mother due to fear. The memory of jumping off the bed to my parents’ room is crystal clear, yet, other significant details are blurred.

My sister, on the other hand, remembers good moments from our childhood, while others struggle with only bad ones and limited detail. This disparity in memory recall is not uncommon. Personally, I tend to hold on to the bad more precisely and in detail than the good. In my view, it is better to have had a stable, normal childhood that was forgotten, than a tumultuous one filled with traumatic events that are etched in my memory.

Unconscious Rules Governing Childhood Memories

The way we navigate childhood is often subconscious. The concept of “king baby,” which rules our life without us realizing it, plays a significant role. It is a part of our protective mechanisms, where denial acts as a safeguard against overwhelming emotions. Until a certain point in adult life, we function under the guise of pretending to be grown-ups, starting from the age of three.

All of a sudden, one day comes when we wake up to understand the extent of our childlike behavior. However, the journey to maturity is not straightforward. We often play the role of the grown-up while remaining children at heart, navigating the complexities of the world without fully understanding the gravity of our actions.

Understanding the Lack of Childhood Memories

It is essential to consider that some of these gaps in memory could be due to trauma.

One might be dealing with past trauma that has impacted memory recall. Alternatively, the episodic nature of childhood memories contributed to by the brain's functionality during early development might be the cause. Research suggests that around the age of three, our memories begin to be more permanent, while before that, they might be more fleeting. At around the age of eight, most children's memories gain permanence.

So, if you find yourself lacking in childhood memories, it could be due to the brain's biochemical processes during that period.

There are ways to explore these memories, such as looking at old photographs, engaging in deep thinking, or even seeking professional help. Sometimes, information is hidden in our subconscious and requires effort to surface and recall. If complete recall remains elusive, the answer lies in acknowledging that both traumatic and non-traumatic factors can affect memory recall.

It is important to remember that every individual's journey is unique, and it is perfectly normal to experience a range of memories and emotions as we ruminate on our past.