Aliens and Legalities: What Happens If I Find an Alien?

Imagine the scenario: you find an alien. But what happens next? Is it a pet, a person, or just another source of speculation and controversy? Let's delve into the realities and legalities of encountering an extraterrestrial.

Referring to the Alien

If a being from another world is bright enough to travel from unimaginable distances, they deserve more than a generic term. An alien is a sentient being, and therefore should be addressed with the respect due to its individuality. Terms like 'it' are inappropriate; instead, use 'he,' 'she,' or 'they,' depending on the specific characteristics of the extraterrestrial.

But can you keep the alien? No, the alien is not classified as a pet. Keeping an alien as a pet would be legally absurd given the situation's uniqueness. An alien would be considered an exotic pet, if such a category could even be applied. You’d need an exotic pet license, but trying to explain that to a license clerk may be an academic exercise in futility.

Legality and Alien Classification

Legally, the alien would likely fall under the category of an exotic pet. This means obtaining an appropriate license. However, the logistics of describing the exotic pet to a license clerk are laughable. ‘She’ or ‘he’ might be the most reasonable descriptions, but even these would be met with disbelief.

Handling Situations Involving Aliens

If the alien is a hybrid baby or a stranded being, the situation becomes more complex. A hybrid baby might be able to stay with you for a short time, but the authorities will eventually intervene. A stranded alien, like the protagonist in 'ET the Extraterrestrial,' might seem like a potential new friend, but the authorities or the alien's fellow beings will likely remove the extraterrestrial.

There have been many reports of people who believed they had caught an alien corpse. For instance, the infamous 'dwarf alien' found in a Minnesota field was later revealed to be a human fetus deformed by a mysterious Soviet nuclear disaster. Such incidents are but mere fantasies or unfortunate misunderstandings.

Consequences of Keeping an Alien

The legal and moral implications of keeping an alien are severe. Even if you manage to keep the alien, it is unlikely to be acceptable. The extraterrestrial will eventually be taken away, whether by authorities or other extraterrestrial beings. The alien might get to keep you, but your legal rights and moral obligations will not be ignored.

Thus, the reality of the situation is that if you encounter an alien, you should be prepared to assist in their safe return to their home or to international authorities. Admitting the alien might be a complex process, but it is the most ethical and legal route to take.